By Tamara Dewi Gondo
During one Alumni zoom gathering, I listened attentively as other entrepreneurs from the previous cohort shared what God is teaching them. One alumni shared a story how his business was hit badly by the pandemic and he only had less than 6 months of runway. Drastic measures were taken, as well as budget cuts. I didn’t get it. Firstly, “For these Christian entrepreneurs who take God’s will seriously, how could their business be in peril?” I questioned God. Secondly, his face exuded peace and trust in God as He shared his story.
What others shared that day was foreign to me.
Isn’t it that following Jesus and doing His will meant that He will bless our business so others can see how good He is?
Not long after, my business destabilized quicker than I could wrap my head around. Half the team left and we were a mess operationally. To make things worse, I was bed-rested with Covid. I was ready to close the business. These 2 weeks, God used to reveal my wrong way of doing God’s will.
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I prided myself on doing my very best in the work God has gifted me. Upon a deeper heart check, it was this selfish desire to portray a ‘successful’ image with a Christian twist--”Look at me for what you can get from following Jesus!” (But that is not what the Gospel is about).
As a result, I often craft plans apart from Jesus. It made for being constantly overworked, with an underwhelmed soul. Each sick morning...
When I had little energy, I was forced to prioritize in the Giver of strength first.
When my body would remind me I needed rest, I rested.
When the cough held me from speaking, I learned only to speak words that build up.
Those whose flesh is not dealt with can only trust in their own planning; they cannot trust in God or believe in him. They can only fear and worry. Those who plan most, worry most.
When we do not trust in God and when we are satisfied by ourselves, we have to admit that God cannot prevail over us. When our minds are too active, and our heads are too big, we may be capable of doing many things, but we are useless in God's hand. Eventually, God has to touch our minds before His purpose in us can be fulfilled because we would never rest unless He makes us.
The isolated time was a space God allowed me to reset the way I am to live out His call. His hand is kind to stop me from running frantically--constantly burned out--as I was so used to. God made me tender. That I am no longer able to do things on my own accord nor boast in my own ‘craftiness’. I was taught to be malleable. To be fearful to keep in step with His. To desperately seek for His face, His will, and His strength daily. Surely, ‘His yoke is easy, His burden is light.’
He expanded my theology too. Following God’s will was not a sure proof that we will be successful entrepreneurs. For God cares more for the condition of our heart and who we are becoming, more than what our hands find to do.
No longer am I daunted by the fear of failure. The size of the company was not the main focus for God anyway. Whether the Lord made us big or small, what matters is the purpose for which the Lord has through our venture, is accomplished.
“When God wants to drill a man,
And thrill a man,
And skill a man
When God wants to mold a man
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch His methods, watch His ways!
How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;”
God uses the breaking to mold us. And I leave it to Him, as jars of clay, for us to be broken to bless. To be blessed, in being broken.
“If ever I lift my head in price, may He humble me to the ground knowing no good things come apart from Him. If He sees fit to bless me with much success, I pray more that my depth of joy is found firstly in the Lord. And If He sees fit to deny me of my vision of success, I will remain in deep abiding peace in Him, my Creator”
The work is the means. The end is always, Jesus.
Tamara was in the Jakarta Cohort in 2020 and is the CEO of Liberty Society is a transparent, ethical and sustainable fashion manufacturer & brand that empowers artisan mothers in Java Island, Indonesia.